My dog ( fei fei ) May 15 2012
She was like my family,a friend which will accompany me when i m lonely and when im happy. she been staying with me over 5 years and of course she became a part of my life. Every morning i wish to see her in the living room shaking her cutest tail and run to me as 1 of her daily activities yet she gone like a without telling me.I been so regret for not being her side when she needed me the most and suffering and i can't do anything else but pray for her . i keep thinking , am i a good master to her? i m not very sure as well..when i burying her, i keep on telling myself not to cry but in the end i just can't bear it and my eyes keep dropping the tears, without i notice i already crying and i keep call feifei to sleep silently at my garden and noone will disturb her ...i just love her to most and hope she will stay at the god and hopefully she will cheerful as always in other side of the world.

5 months later

yEP,im back at here again after 5 months...there were alot of ppl stalking my blog in the back so i purposely stop to upload for sometime but im still writing in my computer...everytime i try to move forward,there is something tells me to turn back...that is why i always turn back

Love over hate

Working as a waiter in tangshifu really make my life in chaos (Lolx) . The story start like this...There were a chief(ivan),Captain(yee shuang) and the dumb huali.

After work at there for 5~10 days..huali start to make friends with the worker especially ivan.The guy were given a great voice by the god and he is good in manipulate ppl , maybe because of that hua li start to believe him but i know that guy is not a good guy so im trying to tell her not to get so close with him but she doesn't believe me .i decided  to tell im jealous because im not her best friend anymore but end up i sms in wrong way(i don't know why) she thought i in love with her ..lolx anyway im just trying to save her from being cheat by ivan.

Well, i found out that she told ivan and everyone i like her...i was like omg she really gone crazy and abit of anger cause feel like she betray me cause she promise me not to tell anyone!!==.If a friend who are close with me..they'll know that won't happen that i will like her ..Lolx but not much ppl...Actually i use pretty much trick like buy flower to her but its doesn't work ==.Lucky she doesn't accept me(reason-too close with me)...if not i also don't know how to solve this problem.I treat her like a small sister to me :P and she know about that Now.Continue, the ivan is so  Suck...he thought the captain is a free minded girl so he went to chase her and they r in relationship just for 2 weeks ivan ask the captain go to hotel accompany him with evil intention(sex) but she refuse to do so...and the idiot say she not love her and talk alot of bloody crap.Whatever ,i quit the job since my parent don't like i work at there with low salary and 11 hours of working hour...might worst as slave ==..After so much of trouble i went through ,she only realise  how good am i :) a big kor kor XD.

Hong keep telling the story to everyone but he doesnt know what really happen...and he told me that She heard about the story ( i like huali and been rejected ).Well, its might a good things so she won't feel sad for me .Since she already make up her mind..i should't disturb  or exies in her life anymore. The more she heard bad about me..the more she believe her choose is right .

Huisan really give me a shock >< 1st time..she'll talk with me lolx...im very happy with that . When i come back...she might already start to teach the kid XD.Im sure she'll become a good teacher just had to be more friendly .Since i not so close with her,i have no idea what problem she is facing but hope everyone will help her out :).

The day i get my stpm result..i knew it,my result will be so plain like a white flour but lucky enough to get in private University at australia(The reason i using the word of university instead of college because in australia college mean secondary school)   ... Some of my friends did really bad in the exam...i just have to cheer them up but there r none of them know that im very sad with my result. My parent expected my result will end up like this and decided to throw me to australia to improve myself in many way.

Time won't come back to you so you must appreciate every single moment of your life and the things you're holding on :( by Ken

The king's speech is a good movie just because my english is not very good so i don't quite understand in some funny line.After i watch it at here (australia) and my uncle explain to me..i realise that is why my family say i m the worst out of them( in english ) ...

Do u know,our brain have a program to delete some of our memory..some sort of things such like that so we’ll not rmb everything but how come she still in there which i hope i could erase it completely

U're my motivation but now you're memory i keeping in my heart.

Being a good guy doesn't mean anything but a toy being fooling around.Im so useless...its time for me to wake up.Im 20 years old this year,i did't do any good to this society or my family.Start from today april 29 2011 ,i'll start to be a MAN and not a toy!

Great news...my savings is enough to buy a honda city right now..its was my dream car last time...but right now is bmw.

Staring at the stars & wonder how is her.

Happy Day :)i have glad to have a chance to walk into 1 of a business class at the Eduth Cowan University as a visitor and the girls at there were so friendly :) thanks them for saying im cute and they r cute too^^

I still can’t find someone who can replace you...how could i ever leave ,since you’re the only thing holding on.

I don’t want any help from my parent to get me rich ,i want try to become a independent person..a man and not a kid anymore...they have already fullfill their job as a parent after im 18...im going to use my saving to pay for my degree fee!

Uncle Alfred(my grandma’s husband) says im more mature compare to last 2 years...; P

Hong really ... sigh i ..he is just using me to get here anl go to his’s auntie there to work as a ilegal worker ...i don’t want to say anything but i just keep in my mind..and know what kind of person is him.

I think i should go back to Malaysia to continue with my degree and last year only transfer back to australia...it is really not worth it...i have to waste 5k dollar and 8 months before i enter degree...i think i have to discuss with my family 1^st.I have to take care my grandma at here ~~’

I should admit it,im a emotional person...its hard for me to stand up after i fall down...if i want to become a success man...i have to throw away my feeling and not being so kind anymore.

Life is so short to have so many regrets....i just have my biggest regret last year ..

Yep,if anyone ask me weather i still like her or not and my answer will be a yes. Yep im talking with myself...i did’t disturb her,i did’t hurt her i even deleted her so i never see her again but why you all keep stopping me doing so? Im just writing on my own blog.

I know you’re far away..ppl say im crazy for being like this,i say you don’t understand me.

I hope i could leave in a small family so i’ll have more time with my siblings.i only will meet my brothers once a year. They were so fake...all of them also want to get our parent properties. Always persue my parent to give those properties to them.Sigh...

Im convincing my parent to come australia to get a PR since i don’t want to get back there...there’re only painful memory at there.

OMG,OMG and OMMG! I get a lucky draw from the burswood casino worth 1.5k dollar $.$ ..woooooo :) but i have to say sorry to the casino cause i won’t be a gambler ! u can’t trick me in !.

Anzac day celebration is very cool at here :) There r freaking damn alot of ppl in the city : )

Nothing will stay the same...just you don’t want to face to fact...im saying myself.

GNASD = Good night and sleep dream.

Everynight is not the same if you try feel it...have you try it feel it before?

I kept alot of secret in the Moon...he is my only friend who r always listen to my whisper and remain silent no matter what i mumbleing

Money is so important but family is more important than everything

I just found out that i doesn’t had any aim in my life...what a lifeless guy am i?

Ok im make it clear now...before im 26 years i must have aleast 600k(RM) in my bank or maybe a properties worth 600k ! if i fail,i’ll donate all my money to the clarity on my 26 birthday.i hope i could do it. I like the number of 26 because its a special number for me and ... ?

My jouney start from now...but it’ll be lonely :(

Maybe it truth...

Yesterday,i had a weird dream...im a superman ! Lolx

Its bring back memories when people ask me about form 6 life : (

I mean forever ,i really mean it.

It been 5 months :(

Why am i sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo stupid ? Why am i sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo shy?     Why am i sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo childish?   

Immensely thankful to her,if not because of this...i won’t grow but i really hurt badly.

There’re lot of people asking me what is your motivation to lost weight and here is your answer : ) try to ask girl to break your heart and you’ll get your motivation .

Im such a coward,im afraid i’ll remind of you or look into your profile...i deleted you yet i can’t forget about you but I’ll walk different direction from you :( .

Fragile heart

The scar of my body will remind me,im a fat boy once before.

Whos doesn’t want to be happy>?

Australia is freaking cold right now...i had to wear 2 shirt and 1 jacket every morning & night.I wonder how i could stay alive if i stay at here in the winter season : (.

Don’t believe me cause i can’t believe myself either.I always tell myself that i’ll forget about her but its doesn’t work as the way i want to be.

Spend 7 hours watching Royal wedding between prince wil & kate...Well,its is amazing but feel like kinda waste of time.

Mother’s day is coming soon :) Im going to buy a high pleassure cleaner for my nanny ~ hope she’ll like it.

Dog guard,Cat look & guide.Lolx im a cat :)

Being a good guy is not easy . Everytime i tried to become helpful & kind end up will causing trouble to myself or being a fool .

Sometime i wonder,will i send her the birthday present if i know she’ll tell everyone about it? Hmm...I kept my promise and i won’t regret for being an idiot who don’t know how to face the fact.

After all,im just a normal guy who’re trying to find the pieces of my heart you threw away.

Forever being a fool.

Can you guy stop mention about her?i m trying hard to forget about her : (

Life is just too short to had so much of regrets.

Should i continue to study or start my business...hmm.

KENLEE PLEASE WAKE UP!!! She already gone very far...Don’t be so stupid okay?

OMG,i going to left bones only if my body keep on lost weight...my hands & legs is like an ice cube...so cold.

Croissants

Fish

                                    

I always so moody…..sigh

26th

The 26th of 2010 of december just started...feel so hurt & sad now...i just at here writting something silly .......... well..i think i'll delete you from my fb,msn, and change my phone password from 2612 to nothing...i think i using this password since the day we start to chat in the msn..haha but evything going to end soon...ya..i'll leave you alone but its doesnt mean i doesnt love you anymore ...well i hide some note inside the gift that u will receive later on..i think u'll never found it since u r so blur== hehe Happy birthday Yokeyee and wish u all the best.............!!

haha...i still can't forget about you..piggy but i can't do anything to get any closer to you...i really felt myself so useless le....i keep telling myself...i doesnt wan to care or get to know anything about you...but can i really do that ? i just know im lieing myself ...hope in the end...i also try to make a surprice for you..just don't know u'll like it or not.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Few minute to go...the christmas will end and her birthday will arrival...i waited for this date for so so so so long... for me i just don't know why..i doesnt feel happy anymore..i just feel so hurt ><'' haha maybe because she already forget about me ?

Everyday i purposely crossed by the place that we date, is just the way i missing you...while i writing this blog i received your email...i tot i were dreaming so i ran to the toilet to wash my face and i found out that i not dreaming...haha== silly me...eventhough its a reduce fat email ..or something like that but u woke me up...hahaha sigh feel like wan to use a rock to hit my head so i can coma and dream about you forever and couldnt wake up...aiks 

Just woke up from my nightmare....sigh == i dreamt u were standing right infront of me and you were chatting with me...but after a moment u slowly walk away....so far...until i can't see you anymore..........aiks